I don't know what it has been about the month of February, but I have been repeatedly asked some of the dumbest questions by guests in my restaurant. This Sunday, a dude rushes in the restaurant in a tizzy, grabs my arm to get my attention WHILE I'm taking an order from a table and asks, "Is this Dallas?" A few nights earlier, after a cursory examination of our menu, a gentleman looked up and earnestly asked, "How big is the Snookies' 1/2 lb Cheeseburger?" I paused, hoping that he would think about what he just said before I was obliged to reply, "Half a pound." The same night, another table asked me what MKT stood for on our menus. This isn't a stupid question, and I didn't mind answering. "It stands for 'market price.' Our cakes are 3.75 a slice." He asked another non-stupid question. "What kind do you have." "Chocolate or Coconut." But then, he proceeded to ask, "What kind of Chocolate Cake?" "Well," I said, "it's chocolate." "Yeah but what kind of Chocolate Cake?" "Chocolate cake with chocolate icing." After this explanation, he became frustrated and shooed me away with a flick of his wrist. Was I being a bit of a smartass? Yes. But isn't the definition of insanity to repeat the same question/act and expect a different result? I still don't know what he expected me to say. Our restaurant is obviously a hole-in-the-wall sort of joint; chocolate cake with chocolate icing is about as fancy as we get.
I am also boggled when people are offended when I offer certain menu items. In A-town, the God-fearing population would be aghast with each casual offer of wine. "Oh, we don't drink," was the common response. The bar shift on Sunday mornings, which in any other city is a huge money maker, was the punishment shift if any bartender pissed off a manger. No matter how hard the hostess tried, table after church-going table would refuse to sit in our bar just because it was Sunday morning. Oh people.
On a somewhat unrelated note, the newspaper dispenser outside Snookies is my new arch-enemy. It ate two dollars worth of my quarters this morning and then proceeded to eat the twelve additional quarters my manger tried. Now, I have always been this dispenser defender. I shame my co-workers into paying for each and every paper they take out and refuse to be a party to the 2 for 1 paper discount. IN FACT, I will usually walk outside and pay the difference because I feel guilty. I get made fun of a lot for that. So that dispenser needs to watch its back because the next time I can get in, I am taking every single Dallas-Morning News that is there.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The bandwagon was too full on facebook.
I have spent a large part of my week reading people's "25 Things" lists and although I know I'm fooling myself if I believe that listing this here is any less bombastic than it would be on facebook, I'm doing it anyway.
1. I love reading other people's blogs and facebook pages, even if we are just casual acquaintances. I am endlessly fascinated by people: who they are, what they deem eventful enough to write an entry about, what frustrates them, what elates them, etc... Chances are if you barely know me and are reading this, I'm reading your blog. I know, it sounds creepy, right?
2. I am ready to be married: one-hundred percent, no cold feet, wish it were tomorrow not eight months away ready.
3. Whenever I listen to instrumental music, I pick an instrument to focus on and daydream that I'm the one playing. I can't listen to instrumental music while I fall asleep because in order to fall asleep I have to listen to the same song multiple times so I can play all the different instruments.
4. As a child I HATED soda. I could only drink orange Fanta and even then only after I let it sit out on the counter for a few hours and become flat. I always regret training my palette out of its natural taste.
5. I also HATE ordering all my salads with their dressing on the side because I'm afraid the waitstaff will think I'm trying to count calories when in reality I really just hate lots of dressing and prefer my salads practically dry. I also am offending when Wendy's drive-thru employees give me a Diet Coke instead of a Dr. Pepper because I despise looking like the type of girl who would order a Diet Coke.
6. Six has always been my favorite number. I think my love of the numeral started in kindergarten when we were learning how to write each number. I just loved its swirl. A year later at church, I learned that Satan's number was 666 and was beset with an awful guilty feeling since six was my favorite number too. However, I decided that God must have known that I liked six before I knew anything about Satan's involvement, and that He wouldn't hold me accountable for things I couldn't know about.
7. One year at Kadesh during the evening praise time in the amphitheatre, God spoke audibly to me. He told me to stop watching X-Files.
8. I honestly believe in Bigfoot. Really.
9. During the most vivid dream I can ever remember having, I slit my own throat to save my friends (I had just been bitten by a zombie and was about to turn into one.) and died. I woke up from the dream the instant that I "died," panting for breath. Needless to say, it took me awhile to fall back asleep.
10. Also in my dreams, I experience pain and can taste and feel things strongly enough to describe the sensations in detail the next morning. Because of that, I have always been fascinated with dreams.
11. I believe that a universal and unbiased yardstick for the character of a stranger is how he/she treats the waitstaff.
12. Secretly, I wish I could be a singer and I hate the false hope my mother's compliments bring.
13. I'm ecstatic to go back and get my masters but I'm also terrified. I sometimes feel as though I tricked my professors into passing me and often don't feel capable to engage in deep literary discussions.
14. I regret the cursory approach I took regarding my past education and am scared it is a habit I can not easily break.
15. I never sucked on my thumb as a child; I sucked my wrist.
16. I sometimes worry that the Varner gene pool will see to it that I give birth to no little girls and only boys.
17. Although I have seen it a countless number of times, "The Little Princess" will always make me cry.
18. I thought I had discovered dinosaur bones in our backyard when I was six. I was incredibly disappointed to learn they were only tree roots.
19. I used to watched the home movies of my childhood so often that my parents hid them.
20. Although it used to be my favorite pastime, I hate sleeping until noon. I feel like my whole day is wasted and am usually cranky for the rest my waking hours.
21. The night before Ben proposed to me, I had a dream about becoming engaged.
22. I have often wished I was Catholic. I like all the traditions and liturgy. The C of C has a great dearth of both.
23. Whenever I take naps I practice lucid dreaming. Being able to control my dreams has to be the coolest thing I've ever learned to do.
24. My proudest accomplishment to date is reading my short story about Mr. Monroe as my last Creative Endeavor.
25. In third grade I practiced for hours training my left fingers to make the Vulcan symbol.
1. I love reading other people's blogs and facebook pages, even if we are just casual acquaintances. I am endlessly fascinated by people: who they are, what they deem eventful enough to write an entry about, what frustrates them, what elates them, etc... Chances are if you barely know me and are reading this, I'm reading your blog. I know, it sounds creepy, right?
2. I am ready to be married: one-hundred percent, no cold feet, wish it were tomorrow not eight months away ready.
3. Whenever I listen to instrumental music, I pick an instrument to focus on and daydream that I'm the one playing. I can't listen to instrumental music while I fall asleep because in order to fall asleep I have to listen to the same song multiple times so I can play all the different instruments.
4. As a child I HATED soda. I could only drink orange Fanta and even then only after I let it sit out on the counter for a few hours and become flat. I always regret training my palette out of its natural taste.
5. I also HATE ordering all my salads with their dressing on the side because I'm afraid the waitstaff will think I'm trying to count calories when in reality I really just hate lots of dressing and prefer my salads practically dry. I also am offending when Wendy's drive-thru employees give me a Diet Coke instead of a Dr. Pepper because I despise looking like the type of girl who would order a Diet Coke.
6. Six has always been my favorite number. I think my love of the numeral started in kindergarten when we were learning how to write each number. I just loved its swirl. A year later at church, I learned that Satan's number was 666 and was beset with an awful guilty feeling since six was my favorite number too. However, I decided that God must have known that I liked six before I knew anything about Satan's involvement, and that He wouldn't hold me accountable for things I couldn't know about.
7. One year at Kadesh during the evening praise time in the amphitheatre, God spoke audibly to me. He told me to stop watching X-Files.
8. I honestly believe in Bigfoot. Really.
9. During the most vivid dream I can ever remember having, I slit my own throat to save my friends (I had just been bitten by a zombie and was about to turn into one.) and died. I woke up from the dream the instant that I "died," panting for breath. Needless to say, it took me awhile to fall back asleep.
10. Also in my dreams, I experience pain and can taste and feel things strongly enough to describe the sensations in detail the next morning. Because of that, I have always been fascinated with dreams.
11. I believe that a universal and unbiased yardstick for the character of a stranger is how he/she treats the waitstaff.
12. Secretly, I wish I could be a singer and I hate the false hope my mother's compliments bring.
13. I'm ecstatic to go back and get my masters but I'm also terrified. I sometimes feel as though I tricked my professors into passing me and often don't feel capable to engage in deep literary discussions.
14. I regret the cursory approach I took regarding my past education and am scared it is a habit I can not easily break.
15. I never sucked on my thumb as a child; I sucked my wrist.
16. I sometimes worry that the Varner gene pool will see to it that I give birth to no little girls and only boys.
17. Although I have seen it a countless number of times, "The Little Princess" will always make me cry.
18. I thought I had discovered dinosaur bones in our backyard when I was six. I was incredibly disappointed to learn they were only tree roots.
19. I used to watched the home movies of my childhood so often that my parents hid them.
20. Although it used to be my favorite pastime, I hate sleeping until noon. I feel like my whole day is wasted and am usually cranky for the rest my waking hours.
21. The night before Ben proposed to me, I had a dream about becoming engaged.
22. I have often wished I was Catholic. I like all the traditions and liturgy. The C of C has a great dearth of both.
23. Whenever I take naps I practice lucid dreaming. Being able to control my dreams has to be the coolest thing I've ever learned to do.
24. My proudest accomplishment to date is reading my short story about Mr. Monroe as my last Creative Endeavor.
25. In third grade I practiced for hours training my left fingers to make the Vulcan symbol.
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